Thursday, December 15, 2011

Practical Yoga (A Continuing Segment)

Today, I would like to announce a new chapter in our continuing segment, "Practical Yoga." This handy guide is here to explain the benefits that yoga can provide to your everyday life. In an effort to appeal to the segment of our population preferring a logical approach, this no-nonsense guide will not be touching on the more 'foofy' aspects of yoga; instead focusing on hard, practical fact. We will not discuss calmness, increased energy or karma. We will eschew words like, "prana." Here, we will outline stale facts  indisputable proof of yoga's daily benefits. Let's begin:

Practical Yoga #2:
In this installment of Practical Yoga we will review one of the many merits to eagle pose. Also known as garudasana. 

I am sure many of you have shirked in your attempts to contort yourself into the perfect eagle pose; preferring to save your energy for the impressive standing bow. Well, NO MORE! Just as before I revealed the bona fide benefits of awkward pose ( I will now do the same for the oft ignored eagle. 

The scenario: 
You are jogging along a wooded path when you happen by a grizzly bear. This mamma bear takes issue with you and tries to attack. 

Fig #1: Irrationally Angry Bear

You mount the nearest tree and wrap yourself around it in eagle. Don't worry about your hands lining up today  you are being chased by a bear.

Fig #1: Eagle in Tree

As much as the bear pulls at the little tree, knocks it with her body, and tries to get at you she can not shake you from your tree!

Fig #3: Maybe Choose a Bigger Tree

So there you have it folks. Your reason for doing eagle. Bear attacks. Sound unlikely? Possibly. Impossible NO! A North Carolina resident, Ruth McNair braved this mamma bear armed only with eagle. And it worked!* So here is your proven effective patented** step-by-step Ruth McNair Bear Survival guide. You're welcome. 

* The article has been archived but you can access it from here:

** Not really.


  1. OMG, Hahahaha! I love it! I will remember this the next time I am being chased down by a bear in downtown Orlando. :)

  2. I will rest easier tonight knowing that you are armed with this knowledge, Dalia. Orlando can be a treacherous place. ;)

  3. Just getting around to reading back posts I missed. I love this one! I actually had a bear encounter in North Carolina; too bad I was 12 and hadn't yet discovered Bikram and the live-saving eagle pose.

  4. Michelle, you should embark on a Moby-Dick style hunt for that North Carolinan bear and whip out your amazing eagle at it. You'd be all, "HA!" and he'd be all like, "Damn!" And you'd one-up captain Ahab by actually conquering your proverbial whale. Hey, that would make a pretty sweet yoga book. You should make that.

    PS I LOVE that you are reading posts you missed!