Thursday, June 21, 2012

AFO. Already.


I have the supreme privilege of writing you today with new insight. I can now tell you what it feels like to tear/sprain/strain your meniscus. Frankly, Im not sure which of the adjectives are appropriate because I, like many freelancers, have no insurance and, therefore, go into the doctor only when I fear something may fall off. My doctor is very flexible with me and so understanding that I am not sure how he is not practicing out of a cardboard box.* Still, I try to keep the visits to a minimum. 

On Monday, not at my usual studio, I was shifting my weight around in lotus and I heard a 'pop' in my knee. Knees are notorious for being fickle. I know this because at my studio the teachers watch the knees like hawks. In fact, as if they were hawks and your little round knee-caps were their eggs. I had heard of the 'dreaded pop' before and knew this might be an issue. I unfolded myself and became hyper-aware of my knee. Oddly, there was no pain. I figured maybe I was okay and wrote my home-base studio owner when I got home (this is why being at a knowledgeable studio is important). I told her precisely what had happened, what sensations I was getting and at what points. It was like car-talk for the human body. She responded right away with, "meniscus," a list of things to watch out for, modifications to poses, and how we would determine the severity of the injury. Eff Allstate, Im in good hands already. 

For those of you about to scream, "she's not a doctor," (Hi, mom!) chill. As I said, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor anyway. Plus, there isn't any pain, just a 'loose' sensation in my knee so, had it not been for my involvement in the yoga world, I wouldn't even acknowledge this as an issue; I would be skipping merrily to the club having no inkling. If it starts to hurt or immobilize me I will dutifully call in the standard medicine-men.

'Tis only a flesh wound!


Two points I would like to make: 
  1. I did not hurt myself in the beginers' Bikram Yoga series, so don't freak out and go all "New York Times" on me. The designated postures are as safe as walking.** The chosen inversions don't have you balancing on your neck, arms extended, for a reason. There is no lotus in the series.
  2. I was not going into the pose with aggression or ego. I know that the running theory is that if you don't go in with ego you will be fine. This brings me to the point I want to make regarding my new Exercise in Patience.***


Given #2 shouldn't I have been safe? Yes and no. The posture I was doing isn't in the beginner's series for a reason. Aside from that though, The yoga room is not magic. You do not get wrapped in a bubble of anti-wound the minute you step on whatever foam has been designated a yoga-mat by Lululemon. I take issue with people who get defensive about yoga injuries. Injuries are most-often caused by aggression or ego but sometimes they happen without it. You can choke eating. That does not mean that you should declare eating dangerous and stop. 

The Boy said it beautifully when I came home, head bowed in shame afraid of being chastised for hurting myself. His response to my Exercise in Patience? He told me matter-of-factly, "Welcome to the world of physical activity." He is absolutely right. I can (and have) hurt myself walking. That does not mean it is better for my health to do my grocery-shopping in a hover-round. Although, what a lovely excuse for one!

I have long road ahead of me. One that promises to be graced with many hard lessons. I anticipate learning about sympathy, patience, perseverance and limitations. None of those sound pleasant but I can already pin-point a few I could use. My instructors are amazingly sympathetic and are helping me both emotionally and physically -- I am only on day two and I have already gone from laughing at myself to crying over my lost competition poses to anger. This is going to be a riot. I'll share the lessons I can articulate as they come. Those that I can't articulate we can assume come from a pain-induced delirium. Haha, just kidding...I hope.

* I have even, on his suggestion, sent photos of horrid looking skin conditions while he is on vacation. All this free of charge. I owe the man my left kidney, also, my right, but he won't take them.  

** I don't have stats to back this up; just go with it.

*** That's what I've decided to call my injury. You like it? Evidently, this may take a year or so to heal. Hence AFO (Another Fucking Opportunity). I am starting over again in tree pose, which will be especially emotionally trying considering I was working on full bow-legged. I am an instant-gratification sort of person. This is going to be a hard lesson.

8 comments:

  1. WHAT?!?!?! I was with you before, during and after those classes! You didnt' even mention that you had some sort of event w/you knee! I'm so glad I bullied you into taking a ride home rather than walking/taking the train.

    JCP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, remember that first spinal twist (not the second one, which I got into fine), as I was trying to figure out where stuff went I heard the pop. I know nobody else heard it. I came out fast and careful then turned and told you, "Well, I think that's enough of that today." Yeah, it was right then. I wasn't sure because, as I said, it didn't hurt. The next day, running the diagnostic is when I figured it out for sure. Thanks for the ride. :P

      Delete
  2. this is yoga. congratulations kate-you're gonna love it :-) i promise (i'm on year 17 daily practice) looking forward to reading in the future

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Like any new journey, I am excited and scared. Mainly scared. Ah well, such is yoga! It's amazing how I knew this (or some injury of some form) would happen eventually, yet the knowledge didn't prepare me for the tidal of emotions coming at me. Whee! Ride that wave! ;)

      Delete
  3. Oh wow! I love this AFO and love even more than it includes sharing and building AFO for all of us to grow. I'm inspired by your courage and sending you waves of healing energy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are wonderful, Tony! Im excited I get to learn with people like you, it makes the experience so much more pleasurable! XOXO

      Delete
  4. i kind of mean that the best stuff is buried underneath the physical asana. enjoy your breath, your mind. this is a great time to begin sitting. try 5 minutes, increase slowly over time. your mind will miss the vigorous asana so it will love you for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm. I might be confused at this one. Sitting? I do that periodically during class, but isn't it more important now to listen to my body and do as much as it wants so I can build the muscle around the knee (and learn to listen/communicate with it better? I sat/lay for at least five minutes during class the other day, but it wasn't an intention I set before class, it just seemed like my leg needed it, so I don't think that's what you are talking about here. If you are talking about outside of the yoga room, I used to sit in lotus for a set time most nights. I can't do that now. I can't even do easy-pose. Should I sit legs-extended?

      Delete